How many of you have tried anal? How many of you have thought about it? The past year or so it seems to have become the new big thing with sex. Men seem to crave it and women seem to either love it or hate it.
When I was younger I despised the idea and told myself I’d never ever let any man stick his willy anywhere near there. Although when I was younger there were quite a few things I told myself I would never do! But then I met my boyfriend. We’ve always been really open and honest about all things sex. We seemed to bond over our intrigue and always talked about the different things that interested us. So inevitably anal came up.
I tend to live on the most part with the idea of trying everything at least once. So he persuaded me to give it a try. I’ll admit I really didn’t get on with it at first. I found it painful and uncomfortable and just couldn’t get the hang of it at all. But he seemed keen on it so I kept trying. I’m not sure what happened, but one particular time it just clicked into place. It just worked, and it took me completely by surprise. I think after that, because I discovered it was possible to do painlessly, I worried less and it just seemed to work.
It’s been over a year now and I’ve learnt quite a few things so I’m going to pass on what I’ve learnt in this post. I’m going to look at the kind of worries and thoughts girls have when having anal for the first time.
Is this going to get messy?
Probably the first thought anyone has after the mention of anal. But I have not once had a messy experience. Obviously there is a chance and there will occasionally be a mark or two. But if you make sure you’ve been to the toilet semi recently and showered since, then it’s far more likely to be all clear. You have to know it can happen though. There’s no point diving into anal then freaking out when there’s some brown stuff.
Is this going to hurt?
Definitely the second biggest question you’ll have to ask. And to be honest, the answer is yes. To begin with, it will. You have to take the whole thing REALLY slowly.
The best thing to do is build up to it. Experiment with fingers or toys first just to get used to the feeling otherwise it’s pretty odd. Think about maybe investing in a small butt plug first. Once you feel ready to move on, again use fingers or toys first during foreplay. Take control so that you can decide on how slowly you need to go. Tell him to ease it in a little at a time and make sure to tell him to stop if it hurts. The slower you go the less it will hurt but it might still feel uncomfortable at first. Once you’ve gotten used to the new size though it’ll start feeling a lot smoother and enjoyable. You have to try to relax as much as possible and take it at your own pace.
What lube should I use?
Lubes can be personal choice but you have to make sure to use plenty. Usually you have to keep reapplying throughout, whenever it starts to hurt a little. Thicker silicone lubes or lubes made specifically for anal sex are usually best. Other lubes can still work but you might have to use more or reapply more often.
What positions should I do?
The first time I managed to do it successfully I was on top. Being on top gives you full control of how fast you want to go and how much you are easing it in. Really, the more control you can have the better. I’ve also found that spooning positions work well as it’s easy to stay relaxed and it’s nice being held by your partner.
How long will this take?
Once you’ve properly started and got going, anal shouldn’t last very long. I often personally find that I just can’t keep it up and it will begin hurting again after a while. And if I orgasm then I definitely can’t keep going much longer. Make sure your partner knows this and keep communicating clearly throughout.
What happens afterwards?
Well first things first, clean it all up. You’ll probably be covered in lube so jump in the shower as soon as you can. For the rest of the day things might feel a little odd but it shouldn’t hurt and you shouldn’t have any problems. There shouldn’t be any blood or extreme pain as all. It’ll all return to normal by the next day though, and if you’re lucky you might not even get any unusual feeling at all.
Don’t be too scared of it. As long as you’re with a partner you trust, you just have to take it slow and make sure to communicate with each other clearly. If it hurts and you want to stop then tell him. It’s okay to change your mind. Besides if you can’t relax and it hurts it is never going to work that particular time anyway. It’s much better to leave it and try again when you feel better.
Feel free to ask me any questions in the comments! Good luck!